I"M TIRED OF EATING THE SAME sHIT EVERYDAY!!!!!
I can't relate to ppl that obsessed with their own ocs, i end up feeling resentful bc i dont rly care about art that much anymore. Then I ask myself why talk to these ppl at all. Idk. I'm lonely I guess.
IT MUST BE SO NICE TO BE ONE OF A KIND
I think I'm ready to just move on from drawing but I'm struggling to pick up a new hobby.
my ass keeps taking everything as a personal attack like why. why cant i just be normal lol
nvm. im autistic and i like feeling involved in things. i dont like being ignored and theres nothing wrong with that.
trying to calm myself down from feeling ignored. i have the emotional maturity of a 5 year old.
man, I kinda feel bad for deleting my art twitter and art tumblr bc my favorite streamers used to follow me and it rly felt validating that they liked my artwork, but I wasn't enjoying drawing what I posted so...there's no point in false self expression. if thats what it was, anyway.
art doesnt have to mean anything but i always feel like i have to have it mean something, but even then i misinterpreted ppl's art and ppl misinterpret mine. "just don't care what others think" then what is the point of making art if they can't see through my eyes.
the world is so vast and im terrified of it all
There isn't really anything I've always wanted to do. This sounds fucking corny, but I've always wanted to just walk in a field of flowers and live near a forest. I don't have a job I want to do. Not even a hobby. I could be doing more if I wasn't a depressed lazy fuck.
me before turning 17: I should kms before I turn 17
me before turning 25: I should kms before turning 25
me now, at 26: .... :/
I'm a bitter insufferable bitch that can't feel emotional closeness to people or form close bonds with anyone anymore. Mostly due to fear, but why would I wanna do any of that anyway.
I just logged into my Instagram after 100 yrs and I have this selfie of me, like just a regular me standing in front a mirror picture, and I captioned it with "only true gamers will understand (doesn't elaborate)" and I'm losing my mind over it, I think I'm the funniest person alive actually
I always feel like I'm wearing a mask around anyone except my dad. Like even when I'm talking to my friends, I feel like I'm not being genuine. Even around other autistic people, I don't feel like I can't be my "genuine autistic self." The only time I feel "myself" is when I'm talking to myself like this on a post. Once I talk to an actual person, I have to assess how I'm supposed to act or I'll be ostracized.
how tf do ppl just have a stable identity and fursonas or sonas they keep for YEARS. like I change my sona every 3 months bc I'm like "this doesn't feel like me" and change their entire species and design and name.
VULNERABILITY IS A SIGN OF COURAGE AND I AM A COWARD
I FINALLY FUCKING BEAT THE DEMO FOR WILDFROST, IT TOOK ME 3 WHOLE DAYS RETRYING TO KILL THE 4TH BOSS OMG I feel so fucking good rn Im so alive
This is a morbid thought, but I was thinking to myself yesterday how everyone's opinions about me shouldn't matter because we all eventually die. And all their thoughts of me won't exist. Their memories of me won't exist anymore. Any opinion, good or bad, is gone. And I felt better about being alive. Because why should I be scared of people's judgements if we're all just going to die in the end.
I hate sharing things about myself with people but I try to anyway cuz I'm fucking lonely. Being open with others feels like I'm ripping off my skin and pulling out my teeth. It's uncomfortable as hell and I'd rather not do it.
I actually hated calling myself an artist since I was a teen, I don't really know why. I preferred "someone that drew really well" or something. "Artist" holds a lot of weight to me.
I wish I could make beautiful music. Beautiful artwork. Beautiful anything. But I know it's all because I want people to think I'm some fantastic talented person and feed off their attention and validation. That's why I stopped drawing and creating things. It was all in vain. There's no point in wanting to share any creations if none of them were things I genuinely liked or had fun creating.
I can do whatever I want to do forever, yet I choose to do nothing. Honestly better than participating in hustle culture. I love chilling. I love chilling, eating, and lazing around. What about it.
not my low empathy ass forgetting people experience the same emotions I do. I could never be a therapist
woa...wait i can type more here than on status (pogging)
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